white bread

The oldest contributor to the dog hair phenomenon here at the "Ranch" is 5 year old Toby, pictured to the left.  He is actually not a pure Golden Retriever - not that there's anything wrong with that, well maybe in this house there is...but I shall not digress. Toby's appearance (minus the obvious springer spaniel markings on his gorgeous face) is pretty much the same as the other dogs so we just lump him into their breed for ease of explanation. A total injustice to the rest of my Golden canine crew but we just go with it.  Toby was a rescue from Kalamazoo Animal Rescue and we were lucky enough to get him young, right about when this photo was taken of his precious, innocent, sweet little puppy face.  Toby can boast of many things not the least of which is owning a reputation as the "Psycho Dog from you-Know-Where." Let's just say he does not warm up to new canine guests very quickly and is prone to bipolar episodes when his petting space is infringed upon (I know, as a canine trainer I really should be able to get a handle on this - I have GOT to make more time to focus my inner "Cesar" on his issues). Needless to say, PDFYKW will not be considered for pet therapy work anytime soon.  My 14 year old son, for blog purposes we will call him David (as in Beckham - I can dream for a soccer star, right?), decided to try 4H a couple summers back and PDFYKW was going to be his project for agility training in the local 4H dog club.  Giving you some background to this, that crazy dog can jump ANY height of baby gate - yes the 48 inchers too - and clear it without even a skim to the top edge with his lithe little paws and land in the tiniest of spaces. A feat that would surely grant him a judge's score of 10 should there be gate jumping in the next round of Doggy Olympics. Well, 4H didn't work out so well as his psychotic breaks with other dogs and his tendency to chew out of his tether really did not win us any popularity contests at the club meetings (and meeting nights conflicted with other things...).  PDFYKW is now left to solely perform his agility feats for new people who come to visit the ranch and he is able to show off for them.   In a slightly creepy development we also discovered PDFYKW can open door handles like those icky valossel rapturs do in "Jurassic Park."  Thank goodness for Safety First door handle covers - keeps him out of trouble and the Twinkies in in the house!  


BUT, perhaps PDFYKW's ABSOLUTE greatest skill is his insanely accurate ability to know the presence of his white bread (yes, i said WHITE BREAD and in any form) and the possibility that it has been taken out of the bread drawer to be consumed by his humans. Yes, friends, the minute the drawer containing all things baked comes open ~ PDFYKW could be in AFRICA ~ and he would jump the kitchen gate (beautifully, I might add) and be staring you down for the possibility of handouts.  A dog's sense of smell is incredibly sensitive but this is a WHOLE DIFFERENT, and slightly disturbing, deal.  If that drawer opens and you take wheat bread out or wheat hamburger buns or any other baked item, PDFYKW will totally ignore what's happening in the kitchen. It used to really astound me he could be so intuitive. But then I had an epiphany! Dogs learn HABITS and learn by ASSOCIATION...the ONLY person who uses white bread in our home (a whole topic for another day - on ALL levels!!) is DAVID!!! So when David goes to the kitchen - PDFYKW knows exactly what is coming out of that drawer! It took me along time to realize he did not possess some inner white bread monitor or sixth sense solely devoted to white flour laden baked goods...he had simply developed a way, as dogs do, to figure out how to solidify a steady source of his FAVORITE treat! Most disturbing...why WHITE BREAD? Seriously.

You may ask WHY is she sharing about her neurotic dog, her white-bread-only-eating son and the insanity that surrounds her home? Well, because I promised my mother's AMAZING Banana Bread recipe and I'm lovingly passing it to you totally intact, "undietitianified" (not sure that is a word but it's true so I will use it) BUT OH SO TASTY!!! It is much like white bread - alot of calories that have little benefit for your body other than your taste "bugs" and your comfort button.  But that simple combination of sugar, oil, and white flour plus bananas (David prefers his with chocolate chips, even better, eh?) is so yummy I HAD  to share it for you to try the best recipe EVER for Banana Bread! Not everyone likes bananas and if you are one of those people, I am deeply saddened - another recipe may fit your taste "bugs" down the road on this here blog.  I promise healthier recipes to come and I will learn to share recipes more efficiently on this blog!  (I am playing around with how to add the recipe best so if this posts without the recipe linked I will add it later - sorry!). ENJOY (and let me know if you like the bread if you try the recipe)!